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I swear it’s the best.”I give a sigh. How many times had Stacy said these exact words to me within the ten months we had been roommates? And how many times had those words proved to be complete crap? The answer to both those questions: Too many.“Ell, I swear to you. If you happen to be, ah, unsatisfied, I’m going to do the dishes for the rest of the year.” She said ‘unsatisfied’ with a raunchy sex hotline voice that made me cringe a little.I mean, yes, we were talking about that sex toy everyone and their grandma (sometimes literally) was talking, blogging, twittering and instragramming about, so that voice might be justified. But you see – sex toys just are not my thing. At all. Kinda like some people never get the hang of bidets, or quinoa, or menstruation cups, or saunas, or oral sex (both giving and receiving). Everyone knows it’s good for you, and it makes 99.9% of all people very happy, but sometimes you just end up in that 0.1%. People think you’re a naysayer, when all you. I would rather die before I lay a hand on any woman.’ Melissa smiles at his response. ‘You are so like my brother. Taking things to the extreme. God I wish you two could have met and become friends. He needed someone like you to not feel so alone and actually feel understood.’ ‘What happened to your brother?’ ‘He committed suicide during my senior year of high school. He left a note saying my family and I would be better off without him.’ Melissa thought she would be able to hold back the tears but they started flowing down before she knew it. Keith moves over to her and lays her head on his shoulder. She cries onto his shoulder for a few minutes before she composes herself and wipes the remaining tears from her face. ‘I’m sorry to hear that Melissa. I can’t imagine what you went through during that time.’ ‘It’s not something many people know about, not even Jackie.’ Keith was shocked by that. ‘Why doesn’t Jackie know?’ ‘We haven’t talked that much about my past personal and.
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